When We Hold Onto The Past, We Lose The Capacity To Grow And Change Our Lives.  Learn How To Develop The Skills To Let Go Of Your Narrative And Learn To Live Life With Purpose.

When We Hold Onto The Past, We Lose The Capacity To Grow And Change Our Lives. Learn How To Develop The Skills To Let Go Of Your Narrative And Learn To Live Life With Purpose.

I have some bad news:  Everything in our world and everything about you is going to change and someday, come to an end.  However, I also have some good news:  Everything in our world and everything about you is going to change and someday, come to an end.

What do I mean? Material success is temporary and we have to continuously work hard to flourish and maintain a high level of health, wealth, and our overall wellbeing. All of our problems are temporary, and through hard work and determination, we can overcome any obstacle and face any challenge set in front of us.  With continuous effort, hard work, and the desire to grow, we can make lasting changes and create our dream life.

 

If transformation is conceivable, and everything is impermanent, why do we then continue to struggle with the same problems day in and day out without any noticeable changes?

 

After much deliberation, I came to realize that change is hard. It is not due to a persons’ desire or social support, but rather due to the truth that the average person often uses their past experiences to judge themselves now. As a result, because he or she has struggled yesterday, last week, last year, and for the last decade, history tells us that we will struggle tomorrow, next week, next year, and for the next 10 years.

This is not accurate. We are not our past. Our past is a narrative of who we were, not who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. Letting go of the past is healthy and it is fundamental if you plan to grow and evolve as a person.

The consequences of being dragged down by your past are far-reaching. These consequences can negatively impact your self-view, your relationships, and your dreams. In addition, it can create daily feelings of sadness and frustration. And all of this is unnecessary.

Letting go of the past is arduous. Letting go of negative people, bad ideas, false beliefs, and unhealthy relationships is the only way to change our narrative and create the life we desire.  Every day, each individual moment presents an opportunity to create a new life for ourselves, to remove negative feelings from the past, open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment, and take action to create an incredible future.

 

6 Ways To Let Go of The Past

  1. Make the decision to let it go.
  2. Express your pain — and your responsibility.
  3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.
  4. Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.
  5. Forgive and forget.
  6. Do not wait one more minute for an apology.

 

Although we can intellectually understand that we are not our past narrative, knowing this truth and letting go of the past are two very different situations. Holding onto the past is always damaging in some way. Even holding onto positive events from the past can create limitations in our lives when setting boundaries for the future we want to live.  More often than not, we hold onto the past because of our need for certainty

Certainty is a fundamental human need. We all have a need to feel certain in life, so we can avoid pain and discover comfort. Letting go of the past is frightening because it forces us to step into the unknown and create a different life in the future than the one we live today.

Change is hard and it is difficult to be vulnerable. It can be overwhelmingly uncomfortable to have that sense of uncertainty about what lies ahead. To counter this feeling, we hang on to the past, because even if it is steeped in pain, it is a pain we are familiar with and are certain about.

We all need to let go of the past, both positive and negative pasts, to fully enjoy the next stage of our lives.  Learning to let go of the things that are not serving you positively will free up energy and resources so that you can begin to reap the benefits of a grateful, joyful life.

 

Five Ways To Let Go of The Past And Learn To Live Life on Purpose

 

  1. Take The Time To Understand The Past: Take time to reflect on your own history as a third party looking in without judgment; simply observe. Understand that you are not your past. Understand that the situations, patterns, and people in your life created your experiences. However, they did not create you. Knowing and understanding your past and some of your patterns will help you to recognize why you hold on and repeat self-destructive behaviors. Understanding creates awareness; awareness helps you break the cycle.
  2. Accept Your Past And Live In The Present:  Accept your history and the people that have been a part of your history; accept your circumstances and remember that none of these define you. Acceptance is the first step to letting go and setting yourself free. Learn from the monk in the story: carrying bitterness, anger, or animosity burdens no one, but you.
  3. Transform Your Narrative:  Simply put, we are our story. Not so much the story of the events in our lives, but the story we tell ourselves about the role we played in the events—hero or victim, beloved or unworthy, competent or careless.  One powerful strategy for easing the pain of the past is to rewrite key aspects of the story from a more balanced, empathetic perspective. A healthy rewrite makes you less victimized, less devastated, and less lost than the one you told yourself at the time of the original injury. It reduces the feelings of deep rage, loss, and fear that have been holding you back.
  4. Believe In Yourself:  Believe in your purpose. Believe that the universe is unfolding as it should and that you have a divine roll to play. Believe that holding on does nothing but hold you back from that purpose.
  5. Anchor Yourself In The Future:  It is hard to let go of the past in the absence of a positive view of tomorrow. You need to see a vision of the future. An investment in, a distraction through, or an excitement about something ahead will supply the energy and the will to push you beyond the past.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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Am I a Confident Person?  How Does Confidence Make Life Easier?

Am I a Confident Person? How Does Confidence Make Life Easier?

Have you ever been acquainted with someone who has low confidence? How does this person come across to you?  Do they always seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders?  Did you ever observe this person speaking negatively about their personal life or gossip about the misfortune of others? What about seeming jealous of other people’s success in life?

They make it seem like all of their problems and failures are on the fault of others, as if the world owes them something, and that life is unfair or out to get them.  A person who lacks confidence has a lack of self-belief, usually caused by a sense of uncertainty about something or about themselves.

People with low self-esteem tend to see the world as a hostile place and themselves as its victim. As a result, they are reluctant to express and assert themselves. They often miss out on experiences and opportunities and feel powerless to change things. This effectively lowers their self-esteem and further pushes them into a downward spiral.

As Mindful People Living A Spiritual Life In The Material World, How Do We Become Both Spiritually And Materially Successful?  How Do We Realize Work Life, Spiritual Life, And Personal Life Success?

 

Part of the practice to becoming successful in all areas of life, is to develop habits that lead us to becoming a more confident person, to unearth our own truth, keep to our own distinctive path, and to take responsibility for our lives. We must become confident and carry the knowledge that we are powerful beings capable of overcoming any obstacle, we can face any challenge, and we are able to achieve unlimited levels of success and lasting happiness.

The questions are, “how do we become more confident?” and “how do we develop faith in ourselves to no longer blame others for our struggles in life?”  We must learn to take charge of who we are and set out to live our Dharma, our truth. Nobody is born with limitless self-confidence. If someone seems to have incredible self-confidence, it is because he or she has worked on building it for years. Self-confidence is something that you learn to build up because the challenging world of business, and life in general, can deflate it.

Confidence can be explained as an individuals’ certitude to succeed and inherit conviction in his or her abilities to face any challenge head-on. Self-confidence means being assured in your own worth, ability, and power, regardless of the situation you are in. Someone who is self-confident has a strong sense of self-belief and certainty in him or herself. He or she exudes calmness, composure, and is self-aware in their abilities.  In order to become self-confident we must embrace who we are at this very moment.

 

7 Steps To Help You Be More Confident

  • Visualize yourself as who you want to be each morning before you start the day.
  • Affirm yourself with daily affirmations.
  • Do one thing that scares you every day.
  • Question your inner critic through the daily practice of mindfulness mediation.
  • Set yourself up to win by asking others for help.
  • Help someone else achieve his or her goal.
  • Care for yourself and take time out of your day to reset and care for your personal needs.

 

Your level of self-confidence can surface in multiple ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, and what you say.  Fundamentally, self-confidence is linked directly to how you feel about yourself and your abilities. Your self-worth, whether it is high, low, or somewhere in-between, has a great impact on your life.  Even the greatest leaders lack self-confidence at certain times. Self-confidence is not a static quality; rather, it is a mindset that takes effort to maintain. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered just like any other skill. In other words, we must learn to find a deep and profound love for our inner being

Self-confidence is unmistakably an asset in life. Not only does it make you feel better emotionally and mentally, but it also sets you up toward achieving your goals. When you are confident, it helps you fearlessly pursue your goals. It gives you the belief to conquer your challenges, no matter how insurmountable they seem.

Practice These Core Techniques To Strengthen Your Belief System And Improve Your Self-Confidence

  1. Know Your Weaknesses and Strengths: It is essential to recognize your natural strengths. When you realize your inherent abilities, the next step is to focus on the things that you are good at doing.
  2. Accept yourself: You are unique spiritual beings. It is important not to beat yourself up over the things that you have trouble doing. Instead of complaining about your weaknesses, try to find ways to improve your life.
  3. Remember Your Victories: Many people downplay their successes and focus on their struggles in life.  Always remind yourself of your past accomplishments no matter how small they may be. Break the habit of focusing on the negative parts of your life and instead concentrate on your achievements.
  4. Read Positive Affirmations: It is important that you read affirmations that make you feel confident. Read a self-help book and then write down all of the things that motivate you. Read something positive on a daily basis and reflect on what you can do to improve your situation.
  5. Create S.M.A.R.T Goals: Set achievable goals on a regular basis and then take small steps to accomplish them. Make sure your goals are measurable and monitor your progress. Do not get upset if you are unable to accomplish all of your goals. You can always change your goals so that you can be more successful.
  6. Be Persistent: Do not give up in achieving your goals in your life. Learn from your mistakes and try to improve on your situation. Do not make excuses on why you should quit or give up. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to be successful. The key is to keep at it until you get what you want and are able to achieve your goals.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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Seven Practices to Develop a Compassionate Mindset

Seven Practices to Develop a Compassionate Mindset

How often do we look at a person and judge them harshly without knowing their full life story? More often than not, we scrutinize a person without learning who they are. We blame them for their suffering without understanding the circumstances that have resulted in hardship and grief.

By developing our compassion, we can begin to understand another person’s sorrow without judgement.  We no longer blame another person for difficulties in life; instead, we begin to attempt to understand a person’s hardships. As a result, we can take action to help those in our lives, without judgement.   Recognizing that a person is suffering and offering help differs from other forms of helpful or humane behavior in that its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering.

Compassion is a feeling we possess when we have a shared sense of suffering—most often combined with a yearning to alleviate others’ suffering—to demonstrate kindness without asking for anything in return.

As people interested in living spiritual lives, we have discovered wonderful methods for healing ourselves. We have our own ways of freeing our hearts, have learned to live healthy lifestyles with proper nutrition and exercise, and have learned to take time for ourselves to heal and grow.

However, we often ignore others’ suffering. Our world is so full of violence, anger, injustice, and hate. As spiritual beings living material lives, we each have a responsibility in our own lives to raise ourselves above darkness, and to choose to see love over fear. Compassion is an essential skill that can be improved over time to transform your life and increase your happiness.

Life is busy. Having compassion is a process of learning to see something from another person’s point of view.  Through the complications of modern life, we stop making an effort to be in others’ Shoes, or to see others’ points of view when we disagree with them. We may even begin to believe that such views are intended to, or actually is hurting us. Especially in the midst of disagreements, taking a moment to pause—thus taking ourselves out of the equation and attempting to see another person’s viewpoint—can be crucial to developing a compassionate heart.  It is hard to wake up every day with an open heart and hope for everyone else’s suffering to end in this world. This is not just the end of suffering for our loved ones, but even those against whom we compete or hold grudges, who we have not forgiven, who have caused us harm, and who are toxic.

 

Below, find seven signs you’re a truly compassionate person: 

  1. You find a shared spirit with other people.
  2. You act from a place of empathy.
  3. You’re kind to yourself and to others in your life.
  4. You teach others through leading by example.
  5. You’re mindful of other people’s feelings.
  6. You have high emotional intelligence and pay attention to other people’s feelings.
  7. You express an attitude of gratitude.

 

Humans have a natural capacity for compassion. However, everyday stress, social pressures, and life experiences can suppress it; this can potentially result in physical and psychological problems. The good news is that we can train ourselves to nurture others while developing our compassionate instincts. This process requires patience, steady care, proper tools, and a supportive environment.

When we commit to practicing compassion, our relationships become more intimate, anxiety and depression lessen, our minds become quieter, and we become more attractive to people because they can feel our hearts.  By being compassionate, we are likely to discover our callings in life. You even feel the deep fulfillment of knowing you are contributing to a more loving world. May all beings be happy and free, and may all other words, thoughts, and actions contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for others.

 

Seven Practices to Develop a Compassionate Mindset

 

  1. Develop a morning ritual. Greet each morning with a ritual.  I recommend following the principals of the Miracle Morning, and adhering to the Life S.A.V.E.R.S. established by Hal Elrod. S – Silence, A – Affirmations, V – Visualization, E – Exercise, R – Reading, S – Scribe. By prioritizing time for ourselves and our own personal growth—even when we’re busy—our hearts are more open to live more compassionate lives.
  2. Empathy practice. The first step in cultivating compassion is to develop empathy for your fellow human beings. Many of us believe that we have empathy, and on some level nearly all of us do. But many times we are centered on ourselves, and we let our sense of empathy get rusty.
  3. Stop thinking so much about yourself. This sounds harsh, I know, but there’s an ancient Indian saying that the total amount of unhappiness in the world comes from thinking about ourselves, and the total amount of happiness in the world comes from thinking about other people. It’s the reason we get so excited, as adults, to give rather than receive. It’s also the reason we want to see our children do better than we have, and why cultivating love and compassion for a partner feels so great in the first place.
  4. Commonalities practice. Instead of recognizing the differences between yourself and others, try to recognize what you have in common. At the root of it all, we are all human beings; we need food, and shelter, and love. We crave attention, recognition, affection, and above all, happiness. Reflect on these commonalities you have with every other human being, and ignore the differences.
  5. Reach out with genuine concern. When you ask someone how he or she is doing, turn your full attention to the person in front of you. Let go of whatever you’re feeling and open your heart to your concern for their well-being. While at first it may seem pretentious, soon your caring will be genuine and you will see the difference it’s making.
  6. Remember the whole person. When someone is spiraling onto a negative path, you could lose sight of their positive qualities. Make it a point to remind yourself at that moment of a particular strength she/he has. Maybe it’s his loyalty, humor, or patience. See the whole person.
  7. Stop judging. Your inner judge is always on duty. Whether you’re thinking of yourself or your neighbor, your mind is certainly making a judgement. This is what it does; however, how many times a day do you think, “I’m stupid, or I feel ugly today?” Do you ever catch yourself commenting on a co-worker’s outfit in your head? That is your mind passing judgement.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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A Life with Meaning by Finding Gratitude with What We Have

A Life with Meaning by Finding Gratitude with What We Have

Spirituality means something different to each and every person; it does not fit in a box and it does not conform to one person’s ideals. To live a spiritual life a person does not need to withdraw from the material world. However, some key components to living a spiritual life are learning to live in harmony with the world around us, finding balance, and living a financially stable life.

Each person’s understanding of balance and each person’s financial means is different, and no two people are similar. Some people find balance by having a strong social life full of activities, while others find balance by living quietly at home. Some find balance through physical activity, while others find balance through professional pursuits. We all have different needs, wants and desires. Balance is met when we spend time in areas of pursuit that bring us fulfillment. True balance is found when we have full work, life, and spiritual integration.

However, it is impossible to find balance and live a spiritually conscious life if we are continuously plagued by financial difficulties and stress. We live in a world of weapons of mass distraction. We are bombarded with advertising designed to convince us that we need the latest, the greatest, and the most expensive to be successful and happy. With all the pressure to have the latest and greatest, how do you live a more spiritual life in such a material world?

I am not a financial expert.

I could not explain to you how savings works, the effects of compounding, or the benefits of putting aside 20% of your income each month. I focus most of my energy on learning how to coach people on ways they can unlock their true potential, achieve their goals, and discover how to live their life on purpose. Nevertheless, I know that my life is easier, and I have more time for myself and my personal pursuits, when I live within my financial means, maintain a budget and actively save money each month. My life is better when I am financially responsible.

To live within your means and have a spiritual practice, a person should begin to spend less than or at least equal to the amount they earn each month. However, for most people, in the age of weapons of mass distraction, it’s a lot easier said than done. We constantly compare ourselves to others, and base success on the amount of possessions we own in relation to our neighbors. Yet when we begin to practice contentment with what we have accomplished in life we become less concerned with status in relations to others, and we begin to focus more of our energy on bettering ourselves and the world around us. We start to need less stuff and life becomes easier. Believing that the new object we buy will bring us happiness is based on a feeling of lack that all too often enters our minds. In this sense, lack is that sense of ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m not whole without that new thing’, when really we always were and always will be good enough no matter what. May all beings be happy and free, and may all our words, thoughts and actions contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all.

 

  1. Count your blessings. With the attitude of gratitude in life, what we have becomes enough. When you find yourself unhappy with something, or with what you don’t have, take a moment to count all the good things in your life. Focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t.
  2. Stop, and consider why you want something. When you feel the urge to buy something, think about whether it’s a need or a want. If it’s a want, take a pause. It’s good to wait 30 days — keep a 30-day list… when you want something, put it on the list with the date, and if you still want it in 30 days, you can buy it. Consider why you want something too. Are you not content with what you already have? Why not?
  3. Show people you appreciate them. It’s good to appreciate people, but it’s even better to show them. Give them a hug, smile, spend time with them, thank them out loud, thank them publicly, breathe, and smile. Once again, advice from one of my favorite monks, but it works in this context. Sometimes when we take the time to breathe and smile, it can change our outlook on life.
  4. Learn to enjoy the simple things. Instead of wanting to buy expensive things and spend money on doing things like eating out or entertainment, learn to enjoy stuff that’s free. Conversations and walks with other people. Spending time outdoors. Watching a DVD or playing board games. Going to the beach. Playing sports. Running. These things don’t cost much, and they are awesome.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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Finding Happiness Through Acts of Kindness

Finding Happiness Through Acts of Kindness

Mindful living, at times has the potential to be difficult and challenging, thus providing an individual with an easy excuse to point his or her finger towards other people and other social groups as the blame for their suffering.   It is much simpler and quicker to look at external factors as the root cause to a person’s hardship, rather than the more difficult choice to gaze inward and examine a person’s own action and behaviors that lead to adversity.  People can only control three things in life; how an individual thinks, how a person feels, and how he or she behaves.  Every other event in life is an external factor that is out of his or her control.

What role does kindness and compassion play in bridging a world that is growing increasingly fragmented?   At a pivotal point in a persons’ life, when hardship and difficultly causes feelings of despair and anger, in a reality that has less opportunity for comfort of living, it feels easier to be unkind; especially when a person feels that the universe is working against them.   Being assertive or speaking an opinion does not have to equate to being mean; there are ways for an individual to standup for his or her beliefs while remaining polite, compassionate, and thoughtful towards other people and other beings.

Having money doesn’t equate to success. People who behave horribly for the pursuit of financial reward do so because they’re hurting and using money as a tool to heal their pain.  However, Financial wealth does not ease suffering. Truly successful people, who live life without continuous suffering do so by being kind towards all beings, knowing how to give and receive love, live joyfully, and attract abundance through unselfishness.   Kindness is a good habit that has a lasting effect that supports and reinforces the quest for the good life.  Helping others bestows a sense of satisfaction, and over time people who do good deeds develop a friendly and joyful personality that attracts and magnetizes those they associate with and brings kindness their way.

Selfless acts of giving, be it a smile, a word of encouragement, or the offer of a helping hand, result in an emotional uplift not only for others, but also for the individual.  When a person is healed and living a meaningful life filled with kindness, abundance flourishes and success manifests in all ways. It may be a bit less complicated than what think but to a happier life lies in a person innate power to be kind.  People cannot afford to continue with the negative habit of being unkind toward other people and other beings. The easiest most real solution for supporting personal growth and healing the world is being kind towards others without exception.  May all beings be happy and free may all peoples thoughts words and action contribute in someway to that happiness and to that freedom for all.   Peace, Peace, Peace.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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The Journey from going to Good to Great

The Journey from going to Good to Great

Personal growth is a lifelong pursuit to understand a person’s true higher self and their true purpose in life. When we stop growing, we die. We need to continuously develop intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. We grow and change physically as we develop from infancy to adulthood and old age. We grow and change emotionally with every experience, and we grow intellectually as we respond to events and to the world around us. Anything that you want to remain in your life – your money, your health, your relationship, your happiness, love – must be cultivated, developed, and expanded. Otherwise, it will degenerate. Some people satisfy the need to grow by working out physically or by reading books. Others need to study and learn constantly in order to feel that they are truly growing

Growth is about personal investment in a person’s self and improving his or her skill set in order to manage life effectively and provide value to the community. Personal development allows a person to be proactive. Setting goals that are time sensitive causes a person to achieve their dreams in life. Luck happens when hard work meets opportunity. An individual is not born lucky but rather possesses the habit of personal development, continuously learning new skills to achieve the desired result in life. Truthfully, a person may not always achieve their vision in life, but he or she will experience a richer and more rewarding life when dedicated to regularly pursuing new goals and learning new skills. Making that commitment to personal development is the first step on the path to personal fulfillment.

Personal development is not achieved overnight and requires continuous effort and appreciation. With renewed self-confidence and the desire to seek more knowledge, you can hone your skills and become a successful individual, whether in your personal sphere or your professional life. With the right life skills, you can improve the understanding of who you are, achieve satisfaction, and live your life with awareness. May all beings be happy and free and may all our words thoughts and action contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.

Here are a few Personal Growth Tips

 

  1. Find your why. Your why is the purpose, cause, or belief that inspires you to do what you do. It is the thing that motivates you to get up every morning and work a little harder to get a little better.  It is the thing that motivates you to get up every morning and work a little harder to get a little better
  2. Find inspiration in others. Build relationships with role models or other successful people. Remember that you are the average of the five people you surround yourself with, so build relationships with leaders in your community and model your behavior after these thought leaders. Recognize in yourself the strengths you see in other people
  3. Develop the habit of practice. The reality is that excellence and greatness cannot be achieved without hours and hours of practice and hard work. There are no exceptions to this rule. None. Personal growth and learning new skills is like physical strength, is something that develops slowly, almost unconsciously over time, given the right stimulus.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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