Observing the practice of Ahimsa

Observing the practice of Ahimsa

Observing the practice of Ahimsa (non-violence), the first Yama of Patanjali Yoga Sutras, involves refraining from the intention of causing physical and psychological pain to any living being, and the conscious integration of compassion into all aspects of daily life.   Ahimsa is about the intent, rather than the deed itself. It is an attitude of universal compassion.

Ahimsa isn’t simply the practice of refraining from vehement words or violent actions, it’s also about abstaining from harmful thoughts. It is the total and complete absence of violence from one’s mind, body, and spirit.

Abstaining from violent and harmful actions is easy when you’re comfortable and secure, but freeing yourself from harmful thought patterns presents a mountain that every single one of us is equipped to climb, yet few of us have the courage and confidence to do so.

In understanding just how non-violence can manifest itself in our lives, we must first realize how our daily actions and responses encompass elements of harmfulness. More often than not, this happens against ourselves. Our thoughts contain negative responses like disappointment, resentment, or guilt.

If we don’t consistently remove the thoughts of negativity, of self-harm, and of self-criticism, those thoughts begin to grow and multiply. Rather than celebrating the gift of who we are, we start to judge, compare, and criticize ourselves and others. Negative thoughts can slowly become translated into words and actions.

If you are consistently critical of yourself, it is inevitable that you will also be critical of others. If the only thoughts going through your head are negative, there is a minimal chance that you are sending positive energy into the world. Coming from the space of accepting and appreciating the innate beauty, wholeness, and imperfect perfectness in ourselves and people around us will strengthen the roots of Ahimsa in us.

Ahimsa starts with the practice of forgiving someone for something that they’ve done against you, or forgiving yourself for something you’ve done.  The mind is the most potent tool in our possession. Our thoughts and emotions play such a big role in our overall well-being.   Finding your inner peace through Ahimsa will, in turn, allow us to find peace in our interactions with others.

Ways to Practice Ahimsa

  1. Practice mindful eating.
  2. Allow yourself to receive. You may think that by always giving, you are ensuring non-harm and opening generosity to others.
  3. See through, not with, the eye.
  4. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle that you may not be aware of.
  5. Cultivate the seeds of positive and loving thoughts.
  6. Care for Mother Earth and our ecosystem.
  7. Resolve conflicts through peaceful measures.

We can understand Ahimsa as maintaining mindful of thoughts. Thoughts naturally move into and out of our minds. The thoughts themselves don’t necessarily cause harm. However, holding onto thoughts and letting them repeat again and again in your mind is what eventually turns into actions or words of violence. Start to practice simply observing your thoughts instead of reacting to them. When you allow yourself to acknowledge and observe, you’ll find that your thoughts slip from your awareness just as easily as they come in.

Ahimsa is complicated, but it can also be as easy as riding a bike instead of driving a car. Ahimsa is looking in the mirror and not thinking that you look fat in that outfit (and not telling your sister that she looks fat in hers). Ahimsa is as easy as remembering that all beings everywhere have the right to be happy and free. Ahimsa is mindfulness. Ahimsa is an idea that can grow into a reality if we allow it to.

That’s where our non-violent thoughts come in. When we think lovingly, these thoughts trigger the release of dopamine in the body. Dopamine is the chemical that makes you feel good and relaxed. Unlike cortisol, dopamine brings strength to the immune system. It can even cure illness. Those who think of themselves as optimists tend to have stronger immune systems and recover faster from illnesses and injuries. Optimists may even live longer than those who think of themselves as pessimists.

The practice of Ahimsa is a work in progress and let us not expect drastic changes over night. It takes time to make new habits and behaviors. Let us take one day at a time and sooner or later, we will see that we are established in Ahimsa. A strong intention and loving patience will make it happen.

How to Practice Ahimsa

  1. Non-violence towards other living beings:  This one can be a bit tricky, and definitely uses a great deal of brain power to decipher on a daily basis. The first step towards this one is simply becoming aware; so get out there, read voraciously about the harmful things that are being done to animals and humans (think sweat-shops and child slaves), and then see if you can make small changes to minimize the damage that your life on this planet is causing.
  2. Non-violence towards the planet This is another dangerous minefield filled with more information than you can poke a stick at, but the simplest and most effective way to be kinder to the planet is so mind-blowingly simple – just buy less crap! Who has a cupboard filled with things they never use? A wardrobe filled with clothes they rarely wear? That infamous second drawer in the kitchen filled with all kinds of utensils you never use? If you don’t LOVE it, and you don’t NEED it (want is not enough), then don’t buy it! Simple.
  3. Non-violence in your thoughts: Learning how to not think mean thoughts towards others is one thing you can do to bring non-violence into your life. It’s pretty darn hard, but achievable if you can try and remember that everyone just wants to be happy. Much harder than this, is if you’re anything like me (and 99.99% of humans on the planet), in which case I can almost guarantee that your violent thoughts are more often than not directed towards yourself. The person in your life that you are the cruelest to, the hardest on, and the least compassionate towards is probably yourself. We tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough, aren’t smart enough, aren’t good looking enough and aren’t worthy enough, etc. So here’s what you can do: start slowly. Start by telling yourself that you love yourself each morning – maybe into the mirror, oy maybe by giving yourself a big hug at the same time. Write a list of your best qualities, your best features, and read over these daily. Slowly (but surely) these positive thoughts will begin to become second nature, and it will be easier to dismiss your unkind thoughts. Learning how to be non-violent towards yourself in your thoughts is a life-long journey, but one which gives us the largest reward of all – happiness. Practicing Ahimsa towards yourself requires work and time and a whole lot of patience, but I promise you that it’s the best change you will ever make in your life!

 

The Circle of Life

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I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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The Secrets to Live a Successful Life

The Secrets to Live a Successful Life

Have you ever wondered about how some people are able to achieve massive amounts of success in their field, while others work just as hard, but achieve very little? The not-so-secret truth, is that individuals who show up on a regular and consistent basis are often the ones who accomplish something worthwhile in life.  Life distracts you – it interrupts you. A large part of success comes from putting the right amount of time in, and on a daily basis. It comes from keeping up with the daily grind.  The truth is, inspiration and success come from your starting point.  Luck and success happen when hard work and consistent effort meet opportunities.

Like it or not, consistency is essential if you want to make any significant change in your life.   Waking up every day and striving to do your best without being attached to the outcome, is an indispensable skill; one that you could use to achieve your goals, and live your life with purpose.  The arduous part, is to remain focused on your goals and dreams, especially when there are no short-term payoffs. It is easy enough to get distracted by life. List most of us, you skip working on your goals and dreams on the days you don’t feel your best and often choose to focus on painless distractions.

One of the fundamental distinctions between successful people and unsuccessful people, is that successful individuals arrive and try, even when they would rather focus on easy, mindless tasks for the sake of being busy in life. They say that practice makes you perfect, but practice simply makes you a practitioner. Rather, it is perfect practice that makes you perfect. Perfection in practice depends on the three main elements: first, you have to practice for a long period of time; second, your practice must not be interrupted—you must do it regularly; and third, you must do your practice with love and respect.

5 Ways To Help You Achieve Your Goals And Dreams Through Consistent Practice

  1. Get your “why” clear: know your vision – having a compelling reason for why you do something will help you keep going.
  2. Pick one project at a time: do not take on multiple tasks at the same time, pick one thing, focus on it, and achieve the results you want before moving on to something new.
  3. Schedule your priorities: plan your activities by priority and stick to them. As you knock the items off your list, your resolve gets stronger and motivates you to keep moving further.
  4. Ignore the voice: ignore the voice that tells you to skip the things that are important. This is probably the most difficult one, but as you do more of this, it’ll get easier.
  5. Accept your slipups: it’s ok if you miss something, don’t beat yourself about it too much. Consistently move forward and get back on track by shifting your focus to the next task.

Consistency commands respect and honor on your part. It demands that you commit yourself to a sustained effort of action over the long-term.  This essentially means that you keep your promise to yourself and to others that you will follow through with what you set out to do consistently over a period of time, right up until the moment your objectives are achieved. As such, consistency is all about your ability to be dependable, reliable, and responsible for all your choices, decisions, and actions.

Consistency is about building small, empowering habits and rituals that you partake in every single day that keep you focused on your highest priorities and goals. Therefore, it essentially comes down to your ability to hold yourself accountable for the daily choices you make with no excuses and no complaints. You, and you alone, are accountable for what you do and what you fail to do. All responsibility lies solely in your hands.

Consistency means to focus on the present moment, while simultaneously maintaining a long-term vision of the future that helps you measure your results and the impact of your daily actions. With this regular feedback in your hands, you are better able to learn from your failures and mistakes to help you effectively alter your course of action where required

And the best part, is that the longer you remain consistent, the better able you’ll be to see just how far you’ve come. If you’ve ever been in a situation where you haven’t seen a noticeable change in the direction you want, it’s because you haven’t been consistent long enough or you’ve been consistently going in the wrong direction. Make sure that you’re following the right course and you keep at it. From there, your success is bound to follow, as long as you never quit.

If you take consistent action towards your goals every day, where do you see yourself in three months?

6 Ways to Develop More Consistent habits

  1. Use a morning ritual.  This is perhaps the most powerful tip I have found so far in this area. Simply set up a routine in the morning that you do as soon as you wake up; this works so well because what you do early in the day often sets the context for the rest of your day to follow. As humans, we have a strong tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. That’s one big reason why a bad start often leads to a bad day and a good start often leads to a good day.
  2. Do things, even if you don’t feel like it.  Your inner voice and feelings can be disregarded if you like. Remember, you can do whatever you want to do anyway.
  3. Don’t hurt yourself. Whatever you do throughout your day sends signals back to yourself about what kind of person you are. Do the right thing – like being effective, kind, or going to the gym to feel good. If you get lazy, negative, or just plain mean, you’ll tend to feel worse after a while. You don’t get away, there is no escaping yourself. And there is always a price to pay. Use these points as powerful motivators to become a better person.
  4. Focus on and take responsibility for the process, not the potential results. If you focus on the process, you will be a lot more relaxed and prone to continue, than if you stare yourself blind on the potential results that never come as quickly as you want to.
  5. Find and do what you love or like to do.  It is always easier to stick with the program if you love, or at least like, what you are doing every week. So, experiment and find what suits you best.
  6. Hold yourself accountable, with help – we all plateau. It’s frustrating, but also a normal part of life. The key to bursting through ceilings, be it mental, physical, or financial, is to hold yourself accountable. Now, that doesn’t mean to hold yourself accountable for doing it all, but hold yourself accountable for getting help.  Regardless of the form help takes, make it a priority to get some this year. You’ll be surprised by how much further and faster a little help can take you as you struggle to stay consistent and realize your dreams.

 

The Circle of Life

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I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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When We Hold Onto The Past, We Lose The Capacity To Grow And Change Our Lives.  Learn How To Develop The Skills To Let Go Of Your Narrative And Learn To Live Life With Purpose.

When We Hold Onto The Past, We Lose The Capacity To Grow And Change Our Lives. Learn How To Develop The Skills To Let Go Of Your Narrative And Learn To Live Life With Purpose.

I have some bad news:  Everything in our world and everything about you is going to change and someday, come to an end.  However, I also have some good news:  Everything in our world and everything about you is going to change and someday, come to an end.

What do I mean? Material success is temporary and we have to continuously work hard to flourish and maintain a high level of health, wealth, and our overall wellbeing. All of our problems are temporary, and through hard work and determination, we can overcome any obstacle and face any challenge set in front of us.  With continuous effort, hard work, and the desire to grow, we can make lasting changes and create our dream life.

 

If transformation is conceivable, and everything is impermanent, why do we then continue to struggle with the same problems day in and day out without any noticeable changes?

 

After much deliberation, I came to realize that change is hard. It is not due to a persons’ desire or social support, but rather due to the truth that the average person often uses their past experiences to judge themselves now. As a result, because he or she has struggled yesterday, last week, last year, and for the last decade, history tells us that we will struggle tomorrow, next week, next year, and for the next 10 years.

This is not accurate. We are not our past. Our past is a narrative of who we were, not who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. Letting go of the past is healthy and it is fundamental if you plan to grow and evolve as a person.

The consequences of being dragged down by your past are far-reaching. These consequences can negatively impact your self-view, your relationships, and your dreams. In addition, it can create daily feelings of sadness and frustration. And all of this is unnecessary.

Letting go of the past is arduous. Letting go of negative people, bad ideas, false beliefs, and unhealthy relationships is the only way to change our narrative and create the life we desire.  Every day, each individual moment presents an opportunity to create a new life for ourselves, to remove negative feelings from the past, open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment, and take action to create an incredible future.

 

6 Ways To Let Go of The Past

  1. Make the decision to let it go.
  2. Express your pain — and your responsibility.
  3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.
  4. Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.
  5. Forgive and forget.
  6. Do not wait one more minute for an apology.

 

Although we can intellectually understand that we are not our past narrative, knowing this truth and letting go of the past are two very different situations. Holding onto the past is always damaging in some way. Even holding onto positive events from the past can create limitations in our lives when setting boundaries for the future we want to live.  More often than not, we hold onto the past because of our need for certainty

Certainty is a fundamental human need. We all have a need to feel certain in life, so we can avoid pain and discover comfort. Letting go of the past is frightening because it forces us to step into the unknown and create a different life in the future than the one we live today.

Change is hard and it is difficult to be vulnerable. It can be overwhelmingly uncomfortable to have that sense of uncertainty about what lies ahead. To counter this feeling, we hang on to the past, because even if it is steeped in pain, it is a pain we are familiar with and are certain about.

We all need to let go of the past, both positive and negative pasts, to fully enjoy the next stage of our lives.  Learning to let go of the things that are not serving you positively will free up energy and resources so that you can begin to reap the benefits of a grateful, joyful life.

 

Five Ways To Let Go of The Past And Learn To Live Life on Purpose

 

  1. Take The Time To Understand The Past: Take time to reflect on your own history as a third party looking in without judgment; simply observe. Understand that you are not your past. Understand that the situations, patterns, and people in your life created your experiences. However, they did not create you. Knowing and understanding your past and some of your patterns will help you to recognize why you hold on and repeat self-destructive behaviors. Understanding creates awareness; awareness helps you break the cycle.
  2. Accept Your Past And Live In The Present:  Accept your history and the people that have been a part of your history; accept your circumstances and remember that none of these define you. Acceptance is the first step to letting go and setting yourself free. Learn from the monk in the story: carrying bitterness, anger, or animosity burdens no one, but you.
  3. Transform Your Narrative:  Simply put, we are our story. Not so much the story of the events in our lives, but the story we tell ourselves about the role we played in the events—hero or victim, beloved or unworthy, competent or careless.  One powerful strategy for easing the pain of the past is to rewrite key aspects of the story from a more balanced, empathetic perspective. A healthy rewrite makes you less victimized, less devastated, and less lost than the one you told yourself at the time of the original injury. It reduces the feelings of deep rage, loss, and fear that have been holding you back.
  4. Believe In Yourself:  Believe in your purpose. Believe that the universe is unfolding as it should and that you have a divine roll to play. Believe that holding on does nothing but hold you back from that purpose.
  5. Anchor Yourself In The Future:  It is hard to let go of the past in the absence of a positive view of tomorrow. You need to see a vision of the future. An investment in, a distraction through, or an excitement about something ahead will supply the energy and the will to push you beyond the past.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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Learn to Love People and Use Things Instead of Loving Things and Using People

Learn to Love People and Use Things Instead of Loving Things and Using People

Happiness and success in life don’t transpire when we have acquired a lot of stuff, but rather when we have nurtured lasting and meaningful relationships with people.  Human beings are by nature social creatures; we crave friendship and love, just as we do food and water. The better our relationships, the happier we are in life.

As mindful individuals living life on purpose, we recognize that true joy arises when we learn to love people and utilize things rather than loving things and using people. However, in modern times, living in a virtual world, connected through social media and virtual dating, it has become harder and harder to develop a community of supportive friends and family.

Developing long-lasting intimate relationships requires hard work. Yet positive relationships form a solid foundation for happiness and success. We all have bonds we have chosen to form; friends, family, and romantic interests. How we choose to navigate and participate in these relationships has a significant impact on our happiness as well as our health and wellbeing. Developing positive relationships will make us happier, while negative relationships will cause us unnecessary pain and suffering.

Relationships, when observed with an open mind, show us our true selves. Sometimes the people in our lives can be a reflection of who we really are and how we treat other people. More often than not, when we don’t like something about a person, it is a mirror of what we do not like about ourselves. Relationships provide us with an opportunity to observe who we truly are in life. We can, on a moment-to-moment basis, pay attention to what we are thinking, feeling, or doing in response to what is happening externally. We can plug into our life story anytime and learn from it.

Best of all, every day we get a chance to practice acting from love. This goes beyond doing something nice for someone. Acting from love requires us to recognize the times when fear arises within us, and work to overcome it so we don’t choose a course of action from a fearful place. That takes awareness, hard work, and courage, but in those moments, when we choose love, we truly grow as human beings.

 

There are Three Levels of a Relationship:

Level One: Selfish Relationships: My Needs Come First – This is the least mature level – one or both partners are focused on meeting their own needs first. The relationship is fragile. There is an erosion of trust and togetherness and there are regular conflicts or disputes.

Level Two: Conditional Relationships: You Get Yours And I Get Mine – This level is based on a subtle agreement between two people: “You get yours and I get mine.” The relationship is a contract of favors where people keep track of who does what for who and payment is expected in return for services rendered.

Level Three: Valued Relationships – This is the strongest relationship a person can form with other individuals. People put other people’s needs first. Relationships are based on adding value without expecting anything in return. There is an attitude of service just for the joy of helping others.

Creating Level Three Relationships takes hard work and continuous effort. Level Three Relationships are positive; we feel happiness, elation, contentment and calm. Level Three Relationships with our friends and family help us build our self-worth and self-image. Level Three Relationships provide support in times that we struggle, unconditional love, and a reason for doing many of the things we do, which helps give our lives meaning. Level Three Relationships provide us with a sense of identity and belonging.

 

There are Seven Master Relationships Skills to Help us Build Level Three Relationships

  1. Heartfelt understanding
  2. Giving what they really need
  3. Creating and building trust and respect
  4. Reigniting playfulness, presence and passion
  5. Harnessing courage and embracing honesty
  6. Uncovering and creating alignment
  7. Live consciously: be an example

 

Healthy relationships enhance your life and make everyone feel good about themselves. They don’t just happen though; healthy relationships take time to build and need work to keep them healthy. The more positive effort you put into a relationship, the healthier it should be. Below are Four Suggestions on How You Can Build Better Healthier Relationships with the People in Your Life. May all beings be happy and free; may all our thoughts, words and actions contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.

 

Below are Four Actionable Steps You Can Take To Begin to Build Level 3 Relationships

  1. Clear communication: Communication is the cornerstone of every strong relationship. You will not always agree with your partner, but if you have a foundation of respect and clear communication it will be much easier to resolve any conflicts that arise.
  2. Practice acknowledging when your partner goes beyond the call of duty, even for little things, like doing that chore you hate to do. Speak honestly about any actions that make you feel hurt, stressed, guilty, or bad in any way, but avoid blaming, shaming, or isolating your partner. Listen to one another and have a productive conversation.
  3. Speak honestly about any actions that make you feel hurt, stressed, guilty, or bad in any way, but avoid blaming, shaming, or isolating your partner. Listen to one another and have a productive conversation.
  4. Accept and celebrate differences. One of the biggest challenges we experience in relationships is that we are all different. We can perceive the world in many ways. Certainly, a stumbling block that we come across when we try to build relationships is a desire or an expectation that people will think like we do and, in this way, it is so much easier to create a rapport. We feel more comfortable when we feel that people “get” us and can see our point of view. Life, however, would be very dull if we were all the same and, while we may find it initially easier, the novelty of sameness would soon wear off. So, accepting and celebrating that we are all different is a great starting point.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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A Life with Meaning by Finding Gratitude with What We Have

A Life with Meaning by Finding Gratitude with What We Have

Spirituality means something different to each and every person; it does not fit in a box and it does not conform to one person’s ideals. To live a spiritual life a person does not need to withdraw from the material world. However, some key components to living a spiritual life are learning to live in harmony with the world around us, finding balance, and living a financially stable life.

Each person’s understanding of balance and each person’s financial means is different, and no two people are similar. Some people find balance by having a strong social life full of activities, while others find balance by living quietly at home. Some find balance through physical activity, while others find balance through professional pursuits. We all have different needs, wants and desires. Balance is met when we spend time in areas of pursuit that bring us fulfillment. True balance is found when we have full work, life, and spiritual integration.

However, it is impossible to find balance and live a spiritually conscious life if we are continuously plagued by financial difficulties and stress. We live in a world of weapons of mass distraction. We are bombarded with advertising designed to convince us that we need the latest, the greatest, and the most expensive to be successful and happy. With all the pressure to have the latest and greatest, how do you live a more spiritual life in such a material world?

I am not a financial expert.

I could not explain to you how savings works, the effects of compounding, or the benefits of putting aside 20% of your income each month. I focus most of my energy on learning how to coach people on ways they can unlock their true potential, achieve their goals, and discover how to live their life on purpose. Nevertheless, I know that my life is easier, and I have more time for myself and my personal pursuits, when I live within my financial means, maintain a budget and actively save money each month. My life is better when I am financially responsible.

To live within your means and have a spiritual practice, a person should begin to spend less than or at least equal to the amount they earn each month. However, for most people, in the age of weapons of mass distraction, it’s a lot easier said than done. We constantly compare ourselves to others, and base success on the amount of possessions we own in relation to our neighbors. Yet when we begin to practice contentment with what we have accomplished in life we become less concerned with status in relations to others, and we begin to focus more of our energy on bettering ourselves and the world around us. We start to need less stuff and life becomes easier. Believing that the new object we buy will bring us happiness is based on a feeling of lack that all too often enters our minds. In this sense, lack is that sense of ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m not whole without that new thing’, when really we always were and always will be good enough no matter what. May all beings be happy and free, and may all our words, thoughts and actions contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all.

 

  1. Count your blessings. With the attitude of gratitude in life, what we have becomes enough. When you find yourself unhappy with something, or with what you don’t have, take a moment to count all the good things in your life. Focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t.
  2. Stop, and consider why you want something. When you feel the urge to buy something, think about whether it’s a need or a want. If it’s a want, take a pause. It’s good to wait 30 days — keep a 30-day list… when you want something, put it on the list with the date, and if you still want it in 30 days, you can buy it. Consider why you want something too. Are you not content with what you already have? Why not?
  3. Show people you appreciate them. It’s good to appreciate people, but it’s even better to show them. Give them a hug, smile, spend time with them, thank them out loud, thank them publicly, breathe, and smile. Once again, advice from one of my favorite monks, but it works in this context. Sometimes when we take the time to breathe and smile, it can change our outlook on life.
  4. Learn to enjoy the simple things. Instead of wanting to buy expensive things and spend money on doing things like eating out or entertainment, learn to enjoy stuff that’s free. Conversations and walks with other people. Spending time outdoors. Watching a DVD or playing board games. Going to the beach. Playing sports. Running. These things don’t cost much, and they are awesome.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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Overcoming the Fear of Happiness and our Limiting Beliefs

Overcoming the Fear of Happiness and our Limiting Beliefs

When an individual works hard, takes responsibly for their health and wellness, and becomes financially and spiritually successful in life and in their relationships, why does this person become afraid of happiness? Why do people accept the belief that happiness is something short-lived, brief and delusional as true? Is it because people don’t want to be happy, or because we don’t know what to do once we find happiness?  More often then not, people live with the fear that if life is good, then what occurs next must be dreadful, never able to enjoy the happy moments, celebrating life with their loved ones, radiating in their victories and living in the present.

Good things happen to wicked people and terrible things happen to good people. Simultaneously, wonderful things also happen to good people and horrifying things happen to malicious people. We live in the material world where nothing is fixed and life is always changing outside of our control. Society attempts to create rules and structure in people’s lives; in order for a person to feel safe and secure in the real delusion, they can control their situations in ways that are actually very much out of their realm of control.

Fear is often caused when an individual worries about the uncertainty in life, feeling out of control, and wondering what terrible or joyful event will happen next in their life. People need to accept both the good and bad in life and realize that they are part of a much larger picture, and at times events are out of their control. Life is easier when a person begins to believe that they do deserve and need to be successful and happy in life but are no longer attached to the outcome. Happiness occurs when a person does their best in life, and they do not worry about the results, success or failures.

An individual must allow themselves to enjoy the happy moments in life, appreciate the nice things they have earned, but they must move away from being attached to these joyful moments and objects. A person should appreciate nice things but not be defined by them. Moments of hardship are inevitable in life, but if we do our best to prepare for troubled times by living responsibly, enjoying the nice moments without attachment and viewing the challenging periods as life’s lesson to make us better, life will become much simpler. This only occurs when a person no longer focuses on the end result, concerning themselves with becoming rich and famous, but rather focusing on adding value to the people in their lives and making the world a better place for all people and all beings to live harmoniously.

Below are a few suggested tips to overcome the fear of happiness.  

  1. Reward your achievements and enjoy the good moments in life – pat yourself on the back for each small step you take and share your victories with your loved ones.
  2. Don’t focus on how far you’ve gone in life and what you’ve accomplished – rather focus on the journey and live your life with integrity by not sacrificing your morals to achieve your goals.
  3. Always beware of worrying too much. As soon as you catch yourself worrying take time to evaluate your life and examine areas in which you can improve without being hard on yourself. Break down the irrational fears and recognize that your worrying is really coming from a place of fear of the unknown.
  4. Trust yourself and take simple responsible steps to prepare for the troubled times in life. An easy example is putting aside money each month for an emergency fund or eating healthier foods.  Expect the best and trust that you have done your best in life.
  5. Expect the best and trust that everything will work out the way it should. Exercise, meditate, yoga, jog or do some sort of physical activity that will allow you to physically release negative energy. Do anything that gets the positive energy flowing through your system.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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