Selena the Self- Confident Snake Fable

Selena the Self- Confident Snake Fable

A story about loving your true self…

Short Story

Growing up in the jungle with her friends in the animal kingdom brought Selena Snake a lot of joy. It warmed her heart to know she made forever friends. But, would she be able to keep those friends as she grew?

Sometimes, Selena couldn’t help but notice one glaring difference between her and the other jungle animals: She would shed her skin as often as four times per year.

“I wish my body wouldn’t constantly change as much as it does,” she said to her mom one day. “I just don’t know if my friends will love me the same with every change.”

Having lived through the same concerns in her younger days, her mom was empathetic. She shared some motherly wisdom with her daughter.

“Selena, honey, the only beauty that truly matters is the beauty inside.” She continued, “Your friends love being around you because you have a big heart.”

Selena stopped to take in her mom’s advice. She thought back to the endless times her friends hugged her so tightly because she was so kind to them.

“Y’know, mom,” she said, “I think you might be right!” My friends have never shied away from me because my skin sheds.”

Selena began to accept that her friends gravitated towards her because she was a wonderful person on the inside.

From that day onwards, Selena developed a deeper love for her character. Over time, her confidence grew and so did the bond with her childhood friends..

Moral:  The beauty you exude from the inside shines brightly on the outside.

Personal Reflection

What Selena was faced with growing up is the same thing that has probably affected you at some point in your life. Falling victim to never feeling good enough is a truth that is lived by so many.

With societal pressures constantly projecting images of how you should look and act, it becomes difficult to embrace the true beauty that comes from within.

The minute you accept the positive energy that being your true inner self brings, you’ll see a complete transformation in how you feel about yourself.

The world is filled with so many cues that falsely define beauty. Some are focused on body weight, while others on sense of style. But those things are truly unimportant.

What matters most is the content of your heart. Your natural instincts to be kind to others makes you beautiful.

Waking up each morning with positive intention sparks the value that you’re meant to give to the world. By positively impacting the lives of others, you show your true, beautiful colors.

Give little regard to how your inner beauty is packaged. It’s what it generates that leaves a lasting impression on those around you.

So, the next time you feel a little self-conscious about how you look, remind yourself of how you’ve helped others. Focus on being a beautiful person on the inside and your self-confidence will soar.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. How do I encourage myself to accept my flaws and shortcomings?
  2. What impact do motivational influences have on my confidence?
  3. What is my favorite definition of true beauty?

 

The Circle of Life

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I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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Staying On Track Takes Discipline

Staying On Track Takes Discipline

When life throws curve balls, my world sometimes changes. I sometimes lose my footing, but only for a short while. I have the discipline to stay on track.

A typical workday is sometimes interrupted by unexpected challenges, but I take it in stride. Instead of becoming frustrated and losing my composure, I take a breather. This disciplined approach to stress keeps me from breaking down.

Meditation is a consistent part of my daily routine. It balances me and clears my mind, so I regularly take the time to meditate. It is a practice that takes discipline to form and maintain.

My diet goals are sometimes challenging when my days are difficult. I remind myself that it is easy to fall off track and harder to stay on. I prefer to conquer something difficult through focus and consistency.

Although work hours are often unpredictable, I always make time for exercise. It is far from enough to say that I only have time for one or the other.

I get creative with my workouts. In between meetings, I do effective yoga stretches that both strengthen and relax me. A modified workout is of greater benefit to me than a nonexistent one. I affirm that something is always greater than nothing at all.

Today, I take on the challenges of life through a focused and disciplined approach. My daily endeavors are successful because I remind myself of the importance of consistency. I feel good about myself when I am able to stay on track.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. How much discipline is required to maintain a consistent sleeping pattern?
  2. Which area of my life poses the greatest challenge to consistency?
  3. How do I encourage myself to eat healthily when I am feeling

 

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5 Keys To Managing Your Unhelpful Thoughts

5 Keys To Managing Your Unhelpful Thoughts

It never seems to fail. You’re trying to concentrate on your work, but your mind wanders off to a completely unrelated topic. Or, maybe you’re about to go on a first date, but all you can think about is how horrible your last few dates have been. These are examples of unhelpful thoughts.

Unhelpful thoughts can be distractions or be destructive. Neither is helpful.

Your mind is a terrible thing to waste, and if you can’t manage your thoughts, you’re not using your mind to your advantage. Imagine how powerful you would become if you could ignore or replace your negative thoughts! You could accomplish more and get greater enjoyment from your life.

Use these strategies to manage thoughts that don’t support you:

1.  Maintain space between yourself and your thoughts. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to engage with your thoughts. You don’t focus on every person, tree, and car you pass when you’re driving down the road. Most of these things pass through your awareness without you pursuing them further.

–  You can do the same thing with your unhelpful thoughts. Allow them to simply pass on by.

–  Your thoughts are simply something that you experience. You are not your thoughts. If something doesn’t serve a purpose in your life, ignore it. What is the point in dwelling on it?

2.  Understand that it is your brain’s nature to produce random thoughts. The thoughts you experience say little about you. It’s the nature of your brain to produce thoughts. It’s always going to give you something to think about.

–  Occasionally those thoughts are useful. Frequently, they’re frivolous. Sometimes, your thoughts can be quite disturbing. Understand them for what they are and then move on.

3.  Meditation is a helpful tool for understanding the nature of your mind. The first thing you notice when you attempt to meditate is the random and restless nature of your mind.

–  Focus on your breathing. When you find yourself fuming about your boss, wondering what happened to your high school friends, or making a mental grocery list, simply redirect your attention back to your breathing.

4.  You can focus your attention on a thought of your choosing. You can think about anything you choose to think about. You can think about riding a flying bicycle, eating a lemon, or what you need to accomplish today.

–  When you’re experiencing an unhelpful thought, you can decide to think about something more useful. Recognize that you have the power to direct your thinking as you see fit.

5.  Apply logic. Poor thinking leads to poor decision making. When your thoughts are leading you astray, put your logical mind to good use. Ask yourself what a sensible person would do in this situation. What is a logical, intelligent decision for your circumstances? What would you advise a friend to do?

Are negative or distracting thoughts getting in your way on a regular basis? You’re not alone. The human brain loves to stay active and will wander from one idea to another if you fail to take control of it.

The key is to focus your attention on what you intend and avoid getting too involved with your random thoughts. Just allow them to pass.

If you’ve never meditated before, this can be an excellent way to learn how your mind works and how to deal with random, intrusive thoughts. Most importantly, remember that you are not your thoughts. There’s no reason to take them personally.

 

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Say Goodbye to Impostor Syndrome

Say Goodbye to Impostor Syndrome

Do you feel like a fraud in danger of being exposed when someone praises your work? Do you think your achievements are just a matter of luck? If so, you may be experiencing Imposter syndrome.

That’s the term psychologists invented in the 1970s when they were studying successful women. Now, they know that men are just as likely to be affected.

In fact, an estimated 70% of adults experience the symptoms at least occasionally. You may be especially vulnerable when you’re trying something new or celebrating an important occasion like a job promotion.

Impostor syndrome may be caused by your personality or the way you grew up. Whatever the reasons, you can stop undermining yourself. Learn to experience doubts without letting them interfere with the happiness and success you deserve.

Changing Your Thinking:

1.  Remember your achievements. Review your track record. Putting your victories in context will show you that they’re not flukes.

2.  Give yourself credit. Change your self-talk. When you catch yourself becoming critical, congratulate yourself, instead. Reframing your thoughts will help you to view yourself in a more positive light.

3.  Accept uncertainty. Impostor syndrome is often associated with perfectionism. Embrace yourself unconditionally, including your strengths and weaknesses. Set realistic goals and expectations.

4.  Validate yourself. Live up to your own standards rather than relying on approval from others. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings so you can manage them effectively.

5.  Appreciate effort. Do you regard struggling as a sign of weakness? In reality, success often requires careful planning and hard work.

Changing Your Behavior:

1.  Talk it over. Impostor syndrome can be a difficult cycle to break because your first impulse is to cover it up. On the other hand, revealing your insecurities will help you to put them in perspective.

2.  Build support. Ask family and friends for help. Having the courage to be vulnerable will boost your confidence and strengthen your relationships.

3.  Fight stereotypes. Feeling like an outsider can contribute to impostor syndrome. For example, maybe you’re much older or younger than your coworkers. Look for ways to turn that diversity into an advantage instead of feeling awkward about being different.

4.  Be spontaneous. You may be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself if you frequently over-prepare for various events. Throw a party with takeout pizza instead of spending an entire day in the kitchen.

5.  Accept compliments. Can you receive praise graciously or do you secretly want to run and hide? Practice saying thank you sincerely. You’ll create a more pleasant experience for yourself and your admirers.

6.  Find a mentor. Changing long-standing habits can be tough work. Working with a mentor will give you the benefit of ongoing feedback from someone you trust. You may also feel more accountable knowing that someone else is monitoring your progress, too.

7.  Teach others. Recognizing your areas of expertise can be tricky when knowledge and skills build up slowly over time. Instructing others is an excellent way to learn more about yourself while providing a valuable service.

8.  Stay relaxed. Challenging situations are likely to trigger any defense mechanism. You’ll find it easier to be authentic if you manage daily stress. Block out time for meditation and physical exercise. Slow down and take a deep breath if you find yourself starting to question your worth.

9.  Take risks. Impostor syndrome can hold you back from trying new things. Make a list of projects that excite you and take pleasure in learning as you go along.

Build your confidence and sense of belonging. Overcoming imposter syndrome will help you to feel more comfortable with yourself and take more satisfaction in your achievements.

 

The Circle of Life

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I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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8 Tips for Avoiding Indecision and Overthinking

8 Tips for Avoiding Indecision and Overthinking

The quality of your decisions affects the quality of your life. Making better decisions is one of the most effective ways to enhance your life. However, making a good decision requires actually making a decision. Too many people avoid making decisions, or they spend far too much time and energy making a decision.

A great decision doesn’t require a lot of time or energy the vast majority of the time:

1.  Know your purpose. Your purpose makes the best option more obvious. For example, if your purpose is to be an ultramarathoner, it’s easier to decide what to eat and how to spend your time away from your regular job.

–  Where should you live? If you want to be a dairy farmer, the city won’t work. If you want to write a book, in what environment do you write most effectively?

2.  Be logical. Most people make decisions based on emotion. Logic is only used to justify the decisions they made emotionally. Most people are prone to making poor decisions. You don’t want to be like most people in this regard.

–  The best decision is often clear if you apply logic to the situation. Consider how you would advise a friend to proceed. That’s probably your best option.

3.  Plan your day the night before. It’s easier to make smart decisions in advance. For example, it’s easy to say, “I’m going to meet my mother for lunch tomorrow.” However, you might be less enthusiastic when the sun comes up. Avoid changing your mind. You already made the decision, so stick with it.

–  We make great plans in the evening for the following day. We plan out our days. We make plans to eat a good lunch, hit the gym, and finish that report. The next day, we start overthinking everything and blow it.

–  You don’t need to make perfect decisions. You need to make decent decisions and stick with them. Do your thinking at night. Execute your decisions the following day.

4.  Know your values. The best option is often obvious if you know your values.

–  Take the time to examine your values and then list them in order of priority. When you’re faced with a tough choice, take a look at your list of values and apply your values to your decision. You’ll probably find that an answer is easier to find.

5.  Give yourself a deadline. A good decision can often be made very quickly. Avoid taking longer than you need to make a choice. A deadline can be an effective way of making a decision quickly. Give yourself a few minutes to a few days, to make up your mind. Pull the trigger and move on.

6.  Know that if you’re indecisive, any option is probably acceptable. When you’re torn between a couple of choices, there’s probably not a “best” option. Just pick one and move on. Flip a coin if necessary.

7.  Consider the reason for your hesitation. Why are you hesitating? What’s holding you back? What are your concerns? What are you afraid might happen?

–  Is there a way to mitigate this fear so it doesn’t impact your decision process?

8.  Forget about trying to be perfect. Perfection leads to procrastination and indecision. Worry about being good. Worry about being smart. That’s as close to perfection as you need to be.

Indecisiveness puts your life on standby. You can dramatically enhance the quality of your life by making better and quicker decisions. Making a decision isn’t a race, but what are you going to accomplish by waiting if you already have the information you need to decide?

Be clear on your purpose and values. Avoid the need to be perfect in your decisions. Make a wise choice and get busy living your life.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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How and Why Others Try to Hold You Back From Success

How and Why Others Try to Hold You Back From Success

When you’re trying to change your life, there will be people that feel the need to get in your way. A few of them might actually believe they’re trying to help you, but they’re not. They want you to stay just the way you are. That way, they can feel comfortable about not improving themselves, too.

It’s frustrating to find out that few people are on your side, but it’s something that must be managed if you want to succeed.

See how others may try to derail your success:

1.  They point out your past failures. We’ve all failed numerous times in the past. Some people in your life will undoubtedly bring up those failures in an attempt to sabotage your efforts.

–  Suppose you decide you want to climb all the 14,000-foot+ peaks in the US. You might be reminded by a “friend” that you couldn’t even climb the 2,000-foot peak at summer camp. They might even suggest that you come up with a more reasonable goal.

2.  They will try to make you feel guilty. Guilt is another weapon. Sticking with our mountain climbing theme, you might be told that all that travel is expensive. You might also be told that you should be saving all the money for your child’s college education. Or maybe you should spend all that time with your family instead.

3.  They try to distract you. “Hey, forget the mountains. Let’s all go on a big vacation together instead.”

These are just a few of the less devious ways those around you might try to sabotage your efforts. But why would they do it in the first place? It doesn’t seem kind and supportive, and it’s not. Though they might try to present it that way.

There are several reasons why people close to you try to sabotage your efforts:

1.  They want to stay comfortable with their mediocrity. If you do something amazing, they have to deal with the fact that they have not. No one wants to feel like they’re losing the game of life. Rather than deal with their own fear, insecurity, and laziness, it’s just easier and less work to hold you back.

2.  Jealousy. While there are some people that are genuinely happy to see you achieve something great, win the lottery, or lose 50 pounds, there are even more that are jealous. They’ll try to stop you from being successful. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll attempt to diminish the value of your success.

–  For example, “Oh, if I had all of your free time, I could easily lose 50 pounds, too.”

3.  People don’t like change. Everyone is getting something from you. If they got nothing out of their relationship with you, they wouldn’t associate with you at all. If you change, it threatens the status quo. If you become something different, where does that leave them?

–  It’s psychologically easier for them if you just stay the same.

The solution is to commit to being successful in spite of the objections of others. You might want to consider removing the worst offenders from your life. Life is hard enough without having your own friends and family trying to make it even harder.

Commit to your goals for the right reason. Impressing others is a shallow reason for doing something. Do it for yourself.

Consider keeping your big goals to yourself. You receive less resistance from others. Choose what’s best for your life and do it! You don’t need the approval of others.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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