Observing the practice of Ahimsa

Observing the practice of Ahimsa

Observing the practice of Ahimsa (non-violence), the first Yama of Patanjali Yoga Sutras, involves refraining from the intention of causing physical and psychological pain to any living being, and the conscious integration of compassion into all aspects of daily life.   Ahimsa is about the intent, rather than the deed itself. It is an attitude of universal compassion.

Ahimsa isn’t simply the practice of refraining from vehement words or violent actions, it’s also about abstaining from harmful thoughts. It is the total and complete absence of violence from one’s mind, body, and spirit.

Abstaining from violent and harmful actions is easy when you’re comfortable and secure, but freeing yourself from harmful thought patterns presents a mountain that every single one of us is equipped to climb, yet few of us have the courage and confidence to do so.

In understanding just how non-violence can manifest itself in our lives, we must first realize how our daily actions and responses encompass elements of harmfulness. More often than not, this happens against ourselves. Our thoughts contain negative responses like disappointment, resentment, or guilt.

If we don’t consistently remove the thoughts of negativity, of self-harm, and of self-criticism, those thoughts begin to grow and multiply. Rather than celebrating the gift of who we are, we start to judge, compare, and criticize ourselves and others. Negative thoughts can slowly become translated into words and actions.

If you are consistently critical of yourself, it is inevitable that you will also be critical of others. If the only thoughts going through your head are negative, there is a minimal chance that you are sending positive energy into the world. Coming from the space of accepting and appreciating the innate beauty, wholeness, and imperfect perfectness in ourselves and people around us will strengthen the roots of Ahimsa in us.

Ahimsa starts with the practice of forgiving someone for something that they’ve done against you, or forgiving yourself for something you’ve done.  The mind is the most potent tool in our possession. Our thoughts and emotions play such a big role in our overall well-being.   Finding your inner peace through Ahimsa will, in turn, allow us to find peace in our interactions with others.

Ways to Practice Ahimsa

  1. Practice mindful eating.
  2. Allow yourself to receive. You may think that by always giving, you are ensuring non-harm and opening generosity to others.
  3. See through, not with, the eye.
  4. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle that you may not be aware of.
  5. Cultivate the seeds of positive and loving thoughts.
  6. Care for Mother Earth and our ecosystem.
  7. Resolve conflicts through peaceful measures.

We can understand Ahimsa as maintaining mindful of thoughts. Thoughts naturally move into and out of our minds. The thoughts themselves don’t necessarily cause harm. However, holding onto thoughts and letting them repeat again and again in your mind is what eventually turns into actions or words of violence. Start to practice simply observing your thoughts instead of reacting to them. When you allow yourself to acknowledge and observe, you’ll find that your thoughts slip from your awareness just as easily as they come in.

Ahimsa is complicated, but it can also be as easy as riding a bike instead of driving a car. Ahimsa is looking in the mirror and not thinking that you look fat in that outfit (and not telling your sister that she looks fat in hers). Ahimsa is as easy as remembering that all beings everywhere have the right to be happy and free. Ahimsa is mindfulness. Ahimsa is an idea that can grow into a reality if we allow it to.

That’s where our non-violent thoughts come in. When we think lovingly, these thoughts trigger the release of dopamine in the body. Dopamine is the chemical that makes you feel good and relaxed. Unlike cortisol, dopamine brings strength to the immune system. It can even cure illness. Those who think of themselves as optimists tend to have stronger immune systems and recover faster from illnesses and injuries. Optimists may even live longer than those who think of themselves as pessimists.

The practice of Ahimsa is a work in progress and let us not expect drastic changes over night. It takes time to make new habits and behaviors. Let us take one day at a time and sooner or later, we will see that we are established in Ahimsa. A strong intention and loving patience will make it happen.

How to Practice Ahimsa

  1. Non-violence towards other living beings:  This one can be a bit tricky, and definitely uses a great deal of brain power to decipher on a daily basis. The first step towards this one is simply becoming aware; so get out there, read voraciously about the harmful things that are being done to animals and humans (think sweat-shops and child slaves), and then see if you can make small changes to minimize the damage that your life on this planet is causing.
  2. Non-violence towards the planet This is another dangerous minefield filled with more information than you can poke a stick at, but the simplest and most effective way to be kinder to the planet is so mind-blowingly simple – just buy less crap! Who has a cupboard filled with things they never use? A wardrobe filled with clothes they rarely wear? That infamous second drawer in the kitchen filled with all kinds of utensils you never use? If you don’t LOVE it, and you don’t NEED it (want is not enough), then don’t buy it! Simple.
  3. Non-violence in your thoughts: Learning how to not think mean thoughts towards others is one thing you can do to bring non-violence into your life. It’s pretty darn hard, but achievable if you can try and remember that everyone just wants to be happy. Much harder than this, is if you’re anything like me (and 99.99% of humans on the planet), in which case I can almost guarantee that your violent thoughts are more often than not directed towards yourself. The person in your life that you are the cruelest to, the hardest on, and the least compassionate towards is probably yourself. We tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough, aren’t smart enough, aren’t good looking enough and aren’t worthy enough, etc. So here’s what you can do: start slowly. Start by telling yourself that you love yourself each morning – maybe into the mirror, oy maybe by giving yourself a big hug at the same time. Write a list of your best qualities, your best features, and read over these daily. Slowly (but surely) these positive thoughts will begin to become second nature, and it will be easier to dismiss your unkind thoughts. Learning how to be non-violent towards yourself in your thoughts is a life-long journey, but one which gives us the largest reward of all – happiness. Practicing Ahimsa towards yourself requires work and time and a whole lot of patience, but I promise you that it’s the best change you will ever make in your life!

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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The Value of A Growth Mindset

The Value of A Growth Mindset

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”- Benjamin Franklin

Every single person has a yearning to be prosperous and find lasting happiness. As a young person, we ask ourselves questions throughout our journey to success and happiness.

  • Who are we? Beyond being physical beings in a material world, we are all uniquely special spiritual beings, who are here for a reason.
  • Why are we here? Beyond being here to survive, we are creators who are here to live, expand, and realize our full potential. Our hearts have the access to inner wisdom, the ability to dream (follow our hearts), and create a wonderful life.
  • Where are we going? Beyond meeting our physical and material needs, each of us has something special to offer the world. We’re here with a higher purpose, to make a difference.

These inquiries, and many more similar questions, provide us with the motivation to learn and grow, but at some point in our busy lives, we become preoccupied; we stop asking these powerful questions and begin to live our lives on autopilot. The harsh truth is, when we stop asking these questions, we stop growing and we begin to die.

As conscious people, learning to Live Life on Purpose. We need to constantly develop ourselves intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. We grow and change physically as we develop from infancy to adulthood and old age. We grow and change emotionally with every experience, and we grow intellectually as we respond to events within the world around us.

Why is it important to always learn and mature as an individual?   We’ve all made mistakes throughout our lives that haven’t precisely put us in the best light; perhaps mistreating a person in a past relationship or telling a little white lie to get out of trouble for a mistake made at work. Chances are, however, you have undoubtedly felt a small amount of guilt and grew because of these experiences.

Anything that you want to remain in your life, your money, your health, your relationship, your happiness, love, must be cultivated, developed, and expanded. Otherwise, it will degenerate. Some people satisfy the need to grow by working out physically or by reading books. Others need to study and learn constantly in order to feel as though they are truly growing.

Lifelong learning can be socially invigorating, and it can also improve memory and cognitive abilities.  There are two main reasons for learning throughout life: for personal development and for professional development.  These reasons may not necessarily be distinct as personal development can improve your employment opportunities and professional development can enable personal growth.

Your ability to expand your mind and strive for lifelong learning is critical to your success. By dedicating yourself to learning, you can get ahead in every aspect of your life. All it takes is a commitment.  When you think about the things you do every day, you probably wouldn’t put, “learning new things” on the list. Living busy and hectic lifestyles makes it difficult to even think about learning new things and trying something new, but you could be missing out tremendously, both personally and professionally.

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” ­­­­­­ – Henry Ford

Growth learning helps you expand your mind. You’re acquiring information that you didn’t have previously, and that enables you to do things that you could not have done prior. Some of the very best thinkers in the world today are producing some of the very best material and ideas that you can use for continuous education and mind expansion.

Learning widens your horizons, enhances your knowledge, keeps you up to date with the current world. Learning is essential to our existence. Just like food nourishes our bodies, information and continued learning nourishes our minds

An individual is not born lucky, but rather possesses the habit of personal development; continuously learning new skills to achieve the desired result in life. Truthfully, a person may not always achieve their vision in life, but he or she will experience a richer and more rewarding life when dedicated to regularly pursuing new goals and learning new skills. Making that commitment to personal development is the first step on the path towards personal fulfillment.

Growth is about making a personal investment in one’s self and improving his or her skill set in order to manage life effectively and provide value to the community. Personal development allows a person to be proactive. Setting goals that are time-sensitive causes a person to achieve their dreams in life. Luck happens when hard work meets opportunity. This is why it is so important to try new things and push yourself out of your comfort zone. The potential benefits are really huge and to be honest, there is nothing to lose. So, you should start today and learn something new!

The goal of personal growth is to find balance between living your life and learning new skills and tools to be your best self.  Learning helps you expand your mind, and as you begin to acquire information that you did not have before, you can begin to do things that you could not have done before.  Knowledge is the primary source of value in our world today, and your ability to expand your mind and devote yourself to lifelong learning is the key to breaking any success barriers.

Ways to Practice a Growth Mindset

  1. Listen to audio. Many of us have a favorite radio station and enjoy listening to music. Try adding just 30 minutes of educational audio a day to leave you feeling strong and inspired.
  2. Read books. In this day and age of modern technology, it may seem like books have become lost or forgotten. “The Alchemist” by Pablo Coelho and “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman are books that share journeys of personal development through fictional stories and are available in audio formats as well.
  3. Find a mentor. Look for someone who inspires you and is already where you want to be in life. If you are able to, don’t be afraid to talk with them, share your aspirations, and even ask them questions.
  4. Notice behavior patterns. We are all creatures of habit. Some of these habits are helpful and others are not. It’s good to be aware of your habits, so that you can actively weaken the ones you don’t want and strengthen the ones you do want.
  5. Keep track of your self-reflection. Start a journal where you record your observations and monitor your personal growth. This will help you when looking back at your year to remind yourself of where you’ve been and where you want to go.
  6. Get out of your comfort zone. Resting on your laurels means that you will not grow. Get out of your comfort zone, put yourself out there, take risks and aim to do something different, such as learning a new skill or hobby.
  7. Create a plan and a list of goals. Where do you see yourself in 1/2/3/5/8/10 years’ time? If you know your ambitions, write them down so that you have a clear view of the goals you would like to achieve.
  8. Learn new skills. Learning doesn’t end when you finish school. Learning is a lifelong journey. Take up a new hobby, whether it’s crafting, designing, coding, painting, learning to play a musical instrument, or taking up a new sport. Adding more strings to your bow is quite impressive, and it shows that you are a well-rounded person.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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The Secrets to Live a Successful Life

The Secrets to Live a Successful Life

Have you ever wondered about how some people are able to achieve massive amounts of success in their field, while others work just as hard, but achieve very little? The not-so-secret truth, is that individuals who show up on a regular and consistent basis are often the ones who accomplish something worthwhile in life.  Life distracts you – it interrupts you. A large part of success comes from putting the right amount of time in, and on a daily basis. It comes from keeping up with the daily grind.  The truth is, inspiration and success come from your starting point.  Luck and success happen when hard work and consistent effort meet opportunities.

Like it or not, consistency is essential if you want to make any significant change in your life.   Waking up every day and striving to do your best without being attached to the outcome, is an indispensable skill; one that you could use to achieve your goals, and live your life with purpose.  The arduous part, is to remain focused on your goals and dreams, especially when there are no short-term payoffs. It is easy enough to get distracted by life. List most of us, you skip working on your goals and dreams on the days you don’t feel your best and often choose to focus on painless distractions.

One of the fundamental distinctions between successful people and unsuccessful people, is that successful individuals arrive and try, even when they would rather focus on easy, mindless tasks for the sake of being busy in life. They say that practice makes you perfect, but practice simply makes you a practitioner. Rather, it is perfect practice that makes you perfect. Perfection in practice depends on the three main elements: first, you have to practice for a long period of time; second, your practice must not be interrupted—you must do it regularly; and third, you must do your practice with love and respect.

5 Ways To Help You Achieve Your Goals And Dreams Through Consistent Practice

  1. Get your “why” clear: know your vision – having a compelling reason for why you do something will help you keep going.
  2. Pick one project at a time: do not take on multiple tasks at the same time, pick one thing, focus on it, and achieve the results you want before moving on to something new.
  3. Schedule your priorities: plan your activities by priority and stick to them. As you knock the items off your list, your resolve gets stronger and motivates you to keep moving further.
  4. Ignore the voice: ignore the voice that tells you to skip the things that are important. This is probably the most difficult one, but as you do more of this, it’ll get easier.
  5. Accept your slipups: it’s ok if you miss something, don’t beat yourself about it too much. Consistently move forward and get back on track by shifting your focus to the next task.

Consistency commands respect and honor on your part. It demands that you commit yourself to a sustained effort of action over the long-term.  This essentially means that you keep your promise to yourself and to others that you will follow through with what you set out to do consistently over a period of time, right up until the moment your objectives are achieved. As such, consistency is all about your ability to be dependable, reliable, and responsible for all your choices, decisions, and actions.

Consistency is about building small, empowering habits and rituals that you partake in every single day that keep you focused on your highest priorities and goals. Therefore, it essentially comes down to your ability to hold yourself accountable for the daily choices you make with no excuses and no complaints. You, and you alone, are accountable for what you do and what you fail to do. All responsibility lies solely in your hands.

Consistency means to focus on the present moment, while simultaneously maintaining a long-term vision of the future that helps you measure your results and the impact of your daily actions. With this regular feedback in your hands, you are better able to learn from your failures and mistakes to help you effectively alter your course of action where required

And the best part, is that the longer you remain consistent, the better able you’ll be to see just how far you’ve come. If you’ve ever been in a situation where you haven’t seen a noticeable change in the direction you want, it’s because you haven’t been consistent long enough or you’ve been consistently going in the wrong direction. Make sure that you’re following the right course and you keep at it. From there, your success is bound to follow, as long as you never quit.

If you take consistent action towards your goals every day, where do you see yourself in three months?

6 Ways to Develop More Consistent habits

  1. Use a morning ritual.  This is perhaps the most powerful tip I have found so far in this area. Simply set up a routine in the morning that you do as soon as you wake up; this works so well because what you do early in the day often sets the context for the rest of your day to follow. As humans, we have a strong tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. That’s one big reason why a bad start often leads to a bad day and a good start often leads to a good day.
  2. Do things, even if you don’t feel like it.  Your inner voice and feelings can be disregarded if you like. Remember, you can do whatever you want to do anyway.
  3. Don’t hurt yourself. Whatever you do throughout your day sends signals back to yourself about what kind of person you are. Do the right thing – like being effective, kind, or going to the gym to feel good. If you get lazy, negative, or just plain mean, you’ll tend to feel worse after a while. You don’t get away, there is no escaping yourself. And there is always a price to pay. Use these points as powerful motivators to become a better person.
  4. Focus on and take responsibility for the process, not the potential results. If you focus on the process, you will be a lot more relaxed and prone to continue, than if you stare yourself blind on the potential results that never come as quickly as you want to.
  5. Find and do what you love or like to do.  It is always easier to stick with the program if you love, or at least like, what you are doing every week. So, experiment and find what suits you best.
  6. Hold yourself accountable, with help – we all plateau. It’s frustrating, but also a normal part of life. The key to bursting through ceilings, be it mental, physical, or financial, is to hold yourself accountable. Now, that doesn’t mean to hold yourself accountable for doing it all, but hold yourself accountable for getting help.  Regardless of the form help takes, make it a priority to get some this year. You’ll be surprised by how much further and faster a little help can take you as you struggle to stay consistent and realize your dreams.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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Ways To Begin To Find A Balanced Life

Ways To Begin To Find A Balanced Life

Modern life is busy. It is always packed to the gills with challenges and demands, all fighting for our attention at the same time.  While juggling our health, our jobs, our families, our friends, our feelings, and our lives, it’s all too easy to lose our path and find ourselves lost, confused, stressed out, and wondering how we ever got here in the first place.

 

Modern life, in various ways, is a balancing act. With a deep desire to accomplish our goals and to flourish on all fronts in life, we often neglect to understand the importance of having balance in our lives.

 

Supporting a well-balanced life isn’t just critical for your health, happiness, and well-being, but is also indispensable for improving productivity, managing stress, and unleashing your true potential.  We have the power to find balance in life and to live with no regrets, allowing us to feel fully engaged. We want to live each day with meaning and purpose. Every day should bring us joy, so that we can live life on purpose.

 

But what is balance? What does it mean to live a balanced life and why does balance seem like such an elusive concept?

 

Balance is the taking of appropriate action when circumstances dictate so as to maintain equilibrium.

 

The challenge is this: try to balance what we must do, with what we enjoy and choose to do. This is not always easy. If, however, we are unable to reduce stress and manage a well-balanced life, there can be physical and/or emotional health consequences.  The power of a well-balanced life is truly profound. Living in balance means that you live in harmony and tune within your body. This type of mental lifestyle aids in centering your being and allows you to stand in your own power. Not only that, but it also allows you to integrate both the positive and negative aspects of your being into something more powerful: balance.

 

Ways To Begin To Find A Balanced Life

 

  1. Assess your life as it is now.
  2. Make a conscious decision to become balanced.
  3. Make that decision on a minute-to-minute schedule and schedule your life like you schedule work and school.
  4. Set goals in every area of your life based on the Circle of Life.
  5. Be willing to take the risk.
  6. Make time to reassess yourself on a daily basis.

 

When we are living with balance in our life, we are living with peace and harmony every day. Balance comes in a physical form, an emotional form, and a spiritual form. Being in balance may mean something different to each individual. For me, having a balanced life means creating time for the things I have to do, as well as the things I like to do.

 

We must all eat and sleep each day and many of us must also work. Some of us must go to school. It is up to each of us to create harmony between our life responsibilities while finding time daily, or weekly, to participate in activities that bring us pleasure, personal fulfillment, and rejuvenation.

 

If any aspect of our life draws a disproportionate amount of energy, we have to shortchange the other aspects. That throws us off—and we are unable to move forward on life’s tightrope until a balance can be reestablished. We have to deal with any areas that are taking too much energy and put them into perspective and make sure that they are aligned, so that we have energy available for all areas.

 

There are steps we can take to change what isn’t working and get back some control and balance in our life. And once we start seeing results, we’ll be better equipped to maintain that new found equilibrium. The key is not to try to change everything at once, but to make small adjustments over time to determine what works for you. Eventually, you will have a whole new set of positive life habits and you’ll never look back!  It’s up to us to balance all the different aspects of our lives. We just have to decide to do it.

 

Tips To Find Balance

 

  1. Take a break. Take some time off to unwind. Relax and recharge. It could be a couple of hours a day or during the weekends. Switch off your laptops and smartphones and engage. Read a book, meditate, go for a jog, or talk to a loved one. I know, I know: You want to see who pinged you five minutes ago or check how many people double-tapped on your latest Instagram post, but it’s important to note that all of these things can wait.  Similarly, don’t trade your sleep for work. Overworking or overthinking about work-related issues at home doesn’t just elevate stress, it also kills productivity and can damage your relationships. Once you’re done for the day, take your mind off work.
  2. Embrace a healthy lifestyle. Your health is bound to have an effect on every other aspect of your life. It’s important to invest in your physical and mental wellbeing. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, stay hydrated, and work out regularly.
  3. Take care of and nurture yourself.  You cannot accomplish anything if you’re unhealthy. Get plenty of rest, exercise, and eat properly. Many of us think we can burn the candle at both ends, eat junk food, get very little exercise, and still function adequately. You may be able to get away with this for a while when you’re young, however, at some point, this lifestyle catches up with the best of us. Burnout is a real possibility, here.
  4. Know what your priorities are.  Balance does not entail cramming in every activity possible. Examine your values and decide what’s important to you; then set your boundaries. You may be in the process of building a career, starting a family, or going to school. Depending on what stage you’re at in life, your focus and energies will be different. Avoid becoming overwhelmed by juggling too many big projects in your life at once. Maybe planning a wedding is not a good idea when you’re studying for the Bar exam. Nor is starting a family when you are unsure about your career direction, or relationship status. Not knowing what you want and trying to do everything at once can be a recipe for disaster and will certainly place you on the proper pathway towards a well-balanced life. As the saying goes, “do not bite off more than you can chew.”
  5. Expect the unexpected. Rather than get stressed and upset, learn to roll with the punches when something you have no control over happens. You could get stuck in traffic, your computer could crash, or your child could get sick with the Chickenpox – stuff happens. We’ve all experienced the unexpected. If you accept that anything can happen at any time, it’s less likely to throw you off your stride when it does. Be able to adjust your game plan.
  6. Maintain a positive mental attitude. Begin each day with the intention of making the best and most of it. It may not always go as planned, but it can go more smoothly if you put it in perspective. Part of living a well-balanced life is learning how to deal with adversity, unforeseen events, and uncertainty. If you practice not letting things get to you, you will not only learn to live a well-balanced and less stressful life, you will learn to live in the present and savor the moment. Once you’ve done everything you can within your control, let your life unfold. Be prepared for the future, but don’t worry about it.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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When We Hold Onto The Past, We Lose The Capacity To Grow And Change Our Lives.  Learn How To Develop The Skills To Let Go Of Your Narrative And Learn To Live Life With Purpose.

When We Hold Onto The Past, We Lose The Capacity To Grow And Change Our Lives. Learn How To Develop The Skills To Let Go Of Your Narrative And Learn To Live Life With Purpose.

I have some bad news:  Everything in our world and everything about you is going to change and someday, come to an end.  However, I also have some good news:  Everything in our world and everything about you is going to change and someday, come to an end.

What do I mean? Material success is temporary and we have to continuously work hard to flourish and maintain a high level of health, wealth, and our overall wellbeing. All of our problems are temporary, and through hard work and determination, we can overcome any obstacle and face any challenge set in front of us.  With continuous effort, hard work, and the desire to grow, we can make lasting changes and create our dream life.

 

If transformation is conceivable, and everything is impermanent, why do we then continue to struggle with the same problems day in and day out without any noticeable changes?

 

After much deliberation, I came to realize that change is hard. It is not due to a persons’ desire or social support, but rather due to the truth that the average person often uses their past experiences to judge themselves now. As a result, because he or she has struggled yesterday, last week, last year, and for the last decade, history tells us that we will struggle tomorrow, next week, next year, and for the next 10 years.

This is not accurate. We are not our past. Our past is a narrative of who we were, not who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. Letting go of the past is healthy and it is fundamental if you plan to grow and evolve as a person.

The consequences of being dragged down by your past are far-reaching. These consequences can negatively impact your self-view, your relationships, and your dreams. In addition, it can create daily feelings of sadness and frustration. And all of this is unnecessary.

Letting go of the past is arduous. Letting go of negative people, bad ideas, false beliefs, and unhealthy relationships is the only way to change our narrative and create the life we desire.  Every day, each individual moment presents an opportunity to create a new life for ourselves, to remove negative feelings from the past, open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment, and take action to create an incredible future.

 

6 Ways To Let Go of The Past

  1. Make the decision to let it go.
  2. Express your pain — and your responsibility.
  3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.
  4. Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.
  5. Forgive and forget.
  6. Do not wait one more minute for an apology.

 

Although we can intellectually understand that we are not our past narrative, knowing this truth and letting go of the past are two very different situations. Holding onto the past is always damaging in some way. Even holding onto positive events from the past can create limitations in our lives when setting boundaries for the future we want to live.  More often than not, we hold onto the past because of our need for certainty

Certainty is a fundamental human need. We all have a need to feel certain in life, so we can avoid pain and discover comfort. Letting go of the past is frightening because it forces us to step into the unknown and create a different life in the future than the one we live today.

Change is hard and it is difficult to be vulnerable. It can be overwhelmingly uncomfortable to have that sense of uncertainty about what lies ahead. To counter this feeling, we hang on to the past, because even if it is steeped in pain, it is a pain we are familiar with and are certain about.

We all need to let go of the past, both positive and negative pasts, to fully enjoy the next stage of our lives.  Learning to let go of the things that are not serving you positively will free up energy and resources so that you can begin to reap the benefits of a grateful, joyful life.

 

Five Ways To Let Go of The Past And Learn To Live Life on Purpose

 

  1. Take The Time To Understand The Past: Take time to reflect on your own history as a third party looking in without judgment; simply observe. Understand that you are not your past. Understand that the situations, patterns, and people in your life created your experiences. However, they did not create you. Knowing and understanding your past and some of your patterns will help you to recognize why you hold on and repeat self-destructive behaviors. Understanding creates awareness; awareness helps you break the cycle.
  2. Accept Your Past And Live In The Present:  Accept your history and the people that have been a part of your history; accept your circumstances and remember that none of these define you. Acceptance is the first step to letting go and setting yourself free. Learn from the monk in the story: carrying bitterness, anger, or animosity burdens no one, but you.
  3. Transform Your Narrative:  Simply put, we are our story. Not so much the story of the events in our lives, but the story we tell ourselves about the role we played in the events—hero or victim, beloved or unworthy, competent or careless.  One powerful strategy for easing the pain of the past is to rewrite key aspects of the story from a more balanced, empathetic perspective. A healthy rewrite makes you less victimized, less devastated, and less lost than the one you told yourself at the time of the original injury. It reduces the feelings of deep rage, loss, and fear that have been holding you back.
  4. Believe In Yourself:  Believe in your purpose. Believe that the universe is unfolding as it should and that you have a divine roll to play. Believe that holding on does nothing but hold you back from that purpose.
  5. Anchor Yourself In The Future:  It is hard to let go of the past in the absence of a positive view of tomorrow. You need to see a vision of the future. An investment in, a distraction through, or an excitement about something ahead will supply the energy and the will to push you beyond the past.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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Am I a Confident Person?  How Does Confidence Make Life Easier?

Am I a Confident Person? How Does Confidence Make Life Easier?

Have you ever been acquainted with someone who has low confidence? How does this person come across to you?  Do they always seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders?  Did you ever observe this person speaking negatively about their personal life or gossip about the misfortune of others? What about seeming jealous of other people’s success in life?

They make it seem like all of their problems and failures are on the fault of others, as if the world owes them something, and that life is unfair or out to get them.  A person who lacks confidence has a lack of self-belief, usually caused by a sense of uncertainty about something or about themselves.

People with low self-esteem tend to see the world as a hostile place and themselves as its victim. As a result, they are reluctant to express and assert themselves. They often miss out on experiences and opportunities and feel powerless to change things. This effectively lowers their self-esteem and further pushes them into a downward spiral.

As Mindful People Living A Spiritual Life In The Material World, How Do We Become Both Spiritually And Materially Successful?  How Do We Realize Work Life, Spiritual Life, And Personal Life Success?

 

Part of the practice to becoming successful in all areas of life, is to develop habits that lead us to becoming a more confident person, to unearth our own truth, keep to our own distinctive path, and to take responsibility for our lives. We must become confident and carry the knowledge that we are powerful beings capable of overcoming any obstacle, we can face any challenge, and we are able to achieve unlimited levels of success and lasting happiness.

The questions are, “how do we become more confident?” and “how do we develop faith in ourselves to no longer blame others for our struggles in life?”  We must learn to take charge of who we are and set out to live our Dharma, our truth. Nobody is born with limitless self-confidence. If someone seems to have incredible self-confidence, it is because he or she has worked on building it for years. Self-confidence is something that you learn to build up because the challenging world of business, and life in general, can deflate it.

Confidence can be explained as an individuals’ certitude to succeed and inherit conviction in his or her abilities to face any challenge head-on. Self-confidence means being assured in your own worth, ability, and power, regardless of the situation you are in. Someone who is self-confident has a strong sense of self-belief and certainty in him or herself. He or she exudes calmness, composure, and is self-aware in their abilities.  In order to become self-confident we must embrace who we are at this very moment.

 

7 Steps To Help You Be More Confident

  • Visualize yourself as who you want to be each morning before you start the day.
  • Affirm yourself with daily affirmations.
  • Do one thing that scares you every day.
  • Question your inner critic through the daily practice of mindfulness mediation.
  • Set yourself up to win by asking others for help.
  • Help someone else achieve his or her goal.
  • Care for yourself and take time out of your day to reset and care for your personal needs.

 

Your level of self-confidence can surface in multiple ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, and what you say.  Fundamentally, self-confidence is linked directly to how you feel about yourself and your abilities. Your self-worth, whether it is high, low, or somewhere in-between, has a great impact on your life.  Even the greatest leaders lack self-confidence at certain times. Self-confidence is not a static quality; rather, it is a mindset that takes effort to maintain. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered just like any other skill. In other words, we must learn to find a deep and profound love for our inner being

Self-confidence is unmistakably an asset in life. Not only does it make you feel better emotionally and mentally, but it also sets you up toward achieving your goals. When you are confident, it helps you fearlessly pursue your goals. It gives you the belief to conquer your challenges, no matter how insurmountable they seem.

Practice These Core Techniques To Strengthen Your Belief System And Improve Your Self-Confidence

  1. Know Your Weaknesses and Strengths: It is essential to recognize your natural strengths. When you realize your inherent abilities, the next step is to focus on the things that you are good at doing.
  2. Accept yourself: You are unique spiritual beings. It is important not to beat yourself up over the things that you have trouble doing. Instead of complaining about your weaknesses, try to find ways to improve your life.
  3. Remember Your Victories: Many people downplay their successes and focus on their struggles in life.  Always remind yourself of your past accomplishments no matter how small they may be. Break the habit of focusing on the negative parts of your life and instead concentrate on your achievements.
  4. Read Positive Affirmations: It is important that you read affirmations that make you feel confident. Read a self-help book and then write down all of the things that motivate you. Read something positive on a daily basis and reflect on what you can do to improve your situation.
  5. Create S.M.A.R.T Goals: Set achievable goals on a regular basis and then take small steps to accomplish them. Make sure your goals are measurable and monitor your progress. Do not get upset if you are unable to accomplish all of your goals. You can always change your goals so that you can be more successful.
  6. Be Persistent: Do not give up in achieving your goals in your life. Learn from your mistakes and try to improve on your situation. Do not make excuses on why you should quit or give up. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to be successful. The key is to keep at it until you get what you want and are able to achieve your goals.

 

The Circle of Life

Reveal the “big picture” of your true dreams – and pave the road for a real, personalized action plan

I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach,  and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose

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